Moment of Weakness
by Steffili
Summary: Set after ep 4x14 so obviously spoilers for that. Just my version of how the ep would have endet... this chapter will be "non-smut. ;-)


ok my dear AP shippers. I SWORE there would be no kiss in this ep and there was. So I thought I'd take it and make it right again. At least story-wise. This will be a strictly harmless one-shot. If there will be a second chapter it will be VERY M-Rated :p  
Also this is for my dear Josie who really suffered badly because of this episode and begged me for this story.

Oh and if I owned Good Wife, this would totally happen soon!

* * *

Alicia was cursing herself all the way downstairs to her car. When she got there she cursed again. Damn it, she had forgotten her bag and coat in her office. She reached inside her pocket, thank God, she had at least her car keys - and her phone. There was no way she was going back inside there now. She had no desire to ever see Will again really.

Why the hell did that happen, why did she let him kiss her like that? And kiss him back, too? She had just been too stunned first. Because one second he was yelling at her and getting all up in her face and the next moment he was wrapped around her like that, kissing her like his life depended on it. It had just taken some time for her to process it. She had kissed him back, sure, but she couldn't for the live of her say why. Reflex? That was maybe the best thing she would ever come up with. Because she didn't really feel something. Anything. It wasn't good and making her want more, but then again it hadn't been bad either, like some memory of a distant happiness.

She started the car as her phone began to ring.  
_Oh please no, Will, don't..._ she thought. Only when she looked at her phone realization and massive guilt hit her. Peter!

She was staring at the phone in her hands and contemplated whether to take the call or not. What should she tell him? But she somehow had the desperate need to hear his voice, Peter always grounded her and made her feel safe. She hit the accept button.

"Hey Peter." she greeted him.

"Hey Alicia. What's up?"

"What? Why do you ask...what..." she stuttered, then mentally cursed herself again. There was no way that he knew what had happened and he was just calling right at this moment by chance.

"Uhm, is everything all right with you?" he asked.

Damn, of course he would know something was up, he could read her like an open book. She felt so bad. Peter had been just perfect with her lately and this was the one thing that she could have done that would really hurt him.

"Nothing." She said weakly.

"Oh come on, I can clearly hear that you're upset about something. Did something happen at work?" He offered with concern in his voice.

She felt like crying, he was being so nice when she had been doing something so bad. And also hitting really close to home.

"I can't tell you...over the phone." She said truthfully because she really couldn't.

"Ok, you're really having me worried here. Are you home yet? I'm coming over and then you can tell me. You know you can always tell me everything."

She felt like throwing up, the thought of telling him was really painful but she needed to, she owed him as much.

"No I'm just in the parking garage. It will be after 11 when you'll arrive so just let yourself in quietly, the kids will already be in bed for it's a school night."

She put the phone away and sighed. She was not looking forward to what was to come.

She sat on the couch, hugging a pillow to herself and staring out in the open as she heard him unlocking the door and sneaking in silently. She got up to greet him with a small wave and preceded him into her bedroom, closing the door behind them.

"Hi." Peter said.

Alicia nodded and looked at Peter shortly, then back to the ground.

"Hey Peter." she said with a thin voice.

He came closer but stopped just outside of her personal space.

"Ok, seriously, what ever it is, I just want you to tell me, because I'm really worried for you, Babe." he said with a warm and friendly voice.

She looked up at him and met his worried but open gaze.

"I... Will and I kissed." she said.

Peter took one step back, blinking like he wasn't fully able to make sense of her words.

"You mean...today?" he said, shock and a little hurt in his voice.

She just nodded.

He turned away from her and walked a small track through her bedroom until he ended back up in front of her.

"Why?" he wanted to know.

She just shook her head.

"I don't know. Things just have been so tense at work lately with the whole partner thing. Then this whole mock trial thing where Diane and Will told us to do our best when they really obviously meant that we should let them win. Will came to my office and was really angry with me because he said us winning the mock trial was losing Lockhard and Garnder a client. We were yelling at each other and before I knew it he was kissing me."

Peter just stared at her.

"Did you kiss him back?" he asked her.

She nodded slowly.

"Yes." she answered truthfully.

Peter set down on the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

"So, does that mean you were really lying under oath when you said your affair with Will was over? Were you sleeping with him all the while you were with me?"

She gasped. Of course Peter had read the transcript. She had always suspected, deep in her heart, that he had, but they had never actually talked about it.

"What? No. I didn't. We really ended it back then. And I only ever slept with you after that." she said.

Peter just sat there, thinking for a while, then looked back at her. She stood off to the side, hugging herself, feeling like she was about to faint, realizing that she was maybe about to lose Peter for good now.  
"I'm so sorry Peter. I wish I could take it back." she said with her voice barely a whisper, her eyes stinging with unshed tears.

He got up and walked over to her and again stopped just outside her personal space.

"We can't go on like that Alicia. We can't go back and forth like that, being technically still married but all we get out of it are some secret and stolen encounters, as much as I enjoy them. It's not enough anymore. I want you back completely, as my wife not only in the name. I want us living together again, and also tell everybody that we do, so other men will know better than trying to steal you away from me."

He looked at her with intensity. She just stared back, listening to his words and letting them sink in. He went on:

"If you don't want that I'm prepared to set you free. But I'm not able to stand the in between anymore. It's been going on long enough and I think I've made it clear over and over again that I love you and want only you. So, if you really don't want me anymore it's time to say so."

She looked down on the floor, not able to stand his gaze anymore. He was of course right, that's what it all came down to. But could she really decide it like that?  
"I want only you as well, Peter." she blurted out. After all kissing Will hadn't affected her at all anymore, not like it had while the affair still lasted. And certainly not like Peter's kisses nowadays affected her. So yeah, she was pretty sure she did only want him.  
He stepped in a little closer.

"I believe you. Also I can see that you're really upset about this and I'm thankful that you were honest with me about it. So I'm willing to let it go."

He stroked a loose strand of her hair out of her face and then leaned in to kiss her. She closed the distance between them fully, kissing him back, sighing deeply because this felt so good and so right, causing a warm and fuzzy feeling to spread throughout her body. They only broke the kiss when they were both in need for a breath.

"Can you stay the night?" Alicia asked him, with hope in her voice, also knowing that this was the first time since their sexual relationship had started up again, that she asked him to do that. And it wasn't out of spite either but because she felt that was what she needed now.

He smiled at her warmly.

"Of course I will. I'll never leave your side again, I've told you." he said half jokingly. She held his gaze.

"Good." she answered and started unbuttoning his shirt while he leaned down for another kiss.


End file.
